bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
