And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This baby is an asshole
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
