Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
