I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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