kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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