im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
