Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
