Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
