JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
