you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
