Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
