omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
