Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
