That's when you crack a 10am beer
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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