And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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