If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
