I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
