So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
look no pants
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
