can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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