K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
