Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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