She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Drake has all the answers
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
