i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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