I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
