i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
And then my night got REAL pukey
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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