I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
