If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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