i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
