I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
