i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
as a side note pls kill me
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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