so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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