if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
