I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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