It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
When did angry sex become our thing?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
