yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
