All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
