How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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