I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
