i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
