just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
