I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
