Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
