Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize