I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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