Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
