Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
In America we eat man semen.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
