My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Randomize
