Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
