Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
