Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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